I have wanted to start a blog for some time, but as soon as I open the computer and place my hands on the keyboard, I stop. My mind races. Or maybe it freezes. I can’t decide. Where to start, how to write, who will read it? I stare at the screen, type a few words, then firmly hold down the delete button making the slate blank…once again.
Every couple months, the urge to write resurfaces but I quickly fall into the cycle of doubt, frustration, and fear.
I am realizing that this simple four letter word had quite a tight grip on me.
I have lived much of my life in fear. I am not talking about the instant jump you have when you see a spider lurking in the corner of your bedroom ceiling, nor am I talking about the anxiety that arises when the sky darkens and the thunder rolls in.
This fear is different. It’s heavy. It’s debilitating. It’s all encompassing. And, it has drastically determined the patterns of my life thus far. I am tired of it. I am tired of being afraid, of being alone, of being tied down.
I’ve made a decision.
I am starting a new journey; one that is ever so terrifying, yet it gives me a sense of exhilaration I cannot ignore. I am certain there will be unexpected outcomes that will challenge me emotionally, that which may be encouraging, or of the opposite.
I am ready to share my story and I am ready to tell it in the absence of fear. I am hopeful that through this experience I can grasp life with a new-found freedom and lightness. I have a dream of bringing together a community of humans who support each other wholly, whatever their story may be.
So, here we go. I am taking my step into bravery.