There is an uncomfortable saying that gets caught in my mind when I think about adoption: they bought me.
My parents had to pay a lot of money for me to become a part of their family.
Like, a lot of money.
If I sit with this for too long, I get angry. It feels dehumanizing. Am I just a commodity for someone else’s desires? Are adoptions left to only a certain demographic of people due to the sheer cost of the process? I am infuriated that I cost more or less than another human being based off of my race, age and sex at the time of adoption. It seems that, based on what the demand is from hopeful adoptive parents, worth, in the terms of cost, is determined.
It boils down to becoming a business transaction; the product? A human being.
I try not to think about it so much because it’s so easy to wallow in anger. There are many adoptions that are wonderful, mine had bit of that as well, but while focusing on the business part of it, I tend to forget those aspects.
So, it’s vital that there be a shift in focus. Instead of choosing to let anger take me over, I can choose to use it for motivation. Motivation to advocate for children waiting in foster care, instead of trying to convince pregnant mothers to give up their children. Motivation to be a voice for adoptees, sharing experiences and raising awareness to agencies and groups about the repercussions of adoption. Motivation to question current practices and the validity of them in today’s society. Motivation for change.
It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be upset with the way things are done in our world. It’s what we do with that anger that matters. We can sit with it and let it take us over, staining the way we see everything and everyone in this world. Or, we can use it to educate and advocate with the hopes of seeing things change and grow. I’m going to strive for the second, even when it can feel impossible. How will you use your anger?